I Hope You Like Pain.

Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. [Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise]

Time itself may be one of the things I spend the most time thinking about.

Most people that know me know that I'm a nostalgic kind of guy. I reminisce a lot. Sometimes, I think a little too much. And it trips me out everyday to think that every action I take at the present moment will someday, too, become a memory in the future. Furthermore, too often, I look back at the different things I've done in my life thus far, and begin to think of them as "the good old days." It's funny how as time passes, the period of time I was once complaining about, wishing to have the "good old days" again, eventually becomes "the good old days" itself. Anghel and I always remind each other that in the end, it's the fond memories and the positive parts of past events that we remember most. I suppose this is the reason why it's so easy to compalin about how things are going now, and look back at the same time period later with nostalgic feelings.

It crosses my mind everyday that I'm now in my senior year of college. That's FOUR YEARS. Seriously? I still remember blogging as a senior in high school with a daily countdown to graduation. It's been such a crazy journey, and I still have a whole year left.

Spending time with good people like the ones I've become comfortable with at Davis have assured me that I'm always in good company, and that I will have people after college that I can always depend on as good friends. I used to observe my older post-grad friends, and how their lives shifted after college. It seemed as though there was somewhat of a consistent pattern of some sort of "post-grad uncertainty" that happens. They lose touch with even the closest of friends, they work all day and all night, some end up working jobs that don't even pertain to the major they spent four years of their college career working towards, while others went on to continue EVEN MORE school (particular in the medical field). Whatever the case, they had all accelerated in growth and maturity. Unfortunately, this growth means less social time. I've always known that "the real world" is just waiting around the corner, but it trips me out how freakin' close it actually is. Every day is a constant reminder that I need to get my shit together now for the sake of the rest of my life, practically. For someone like me, who plans to go directy into working after college, it means my life will continue as it is now (work and school), only with the subtraction of school in my life equation. Work work work.

Speaking of which, I should really start looking into where I'm gonna live after college. It's been great living at home for my entire college career, but I know I can't stay here forever.

Went to In-N-Out with a good group of friends after a BRIDGE meeting tonight. That's actually where we got the idea to start this here community blog. Sitting there with these young, good-looking college students -- midterms and projects all in our minds, but set aside to partake in the consumption of delicious greasy goodness -- it occured to me that my time in Davis is very limited. As comfortable as I have finally become in the cow town and college campus of Davis, I'm not going to be here for very much longer. I really thought a blog might be a cool way to stay in touch with everyone. Even though this idea will fizzle out within the next month or so.. haha. Just kidding. Well.. we'll see...

I digress.

I'm thankful that I was able to find it in myself to give Davis a chance. When I first came to UC Davis, I became very non-social -- going to class, and going home (or the girlfriend's house). Ha.. I guess that's what happens when you enter college in a relationship. Not to mention, a relationship with someone who got accepted into the same university. My first two years were pretty much spent apart from the Davis scene. No real Fil-Am involvement, no knowledge of the events, no real connections made with Davis people. I felt as though Davis was in a bubble, while I had only been forming my own little bubble in my own little perfect world. I don't think I was necessarily being arrogant, or thinking I was "too good" for Davis or anything. I suppose I just never really gave it a chance.

Fast forward.

My third year was practically dedicated to immersing myself head-first into the Davis scene, and really make my mark. I had become a coordinator for a campus organization, I started to become proactive in initiating actual relationships and connection to the student community of Davis, and I wanted to finally give my academic environment-of-two-years a chance.

...and now I'm here.

Middle of the first quarter of my last year. I look at my entire UC Davis journey, and it's been crazy. I'm glad I was able to somewhat "catch up" my third year to all the things I had missed during my first two. Sometimes I regret not getting involved earlier, but I know everything was meant to happen the way it was supposed to.

But what the hell. I'm not even close to graduating yet, and here I am talking like I'm leaving and never seeing anyone again. I suppose it's just my brain drifting. It feels nice to type my thoughts freely into an online blog again. I really miss having something to look back on and be able to read my old thoughts and laugh at how naive I was. (There I go reminiscing again.)

So I guess what I'm trying to say with this hella hella long first real post is... time flies by hella fast. I used to document everything, and it was convenient to refer back to later. I've become both busy and lazy, so I haven't documented anything, other than my personal daily to-do list. I hope this blog can serve as a documentation of my thoughts, my "good old days" of the future, and my interractions and relations with the cool kids that post on this blog.

It's almost 3 in the morning, but I don't care because I have no class tomorrow. Yesssssssss. I'm sleepin' in.